I'm hungry

So I have decided to start a blog because sometimes I have a lot of things on my mind and I figured I might as well write about them.  I am an english instructor so I have decided to make writing a part of my daily life.

Tonight, I am hungry.  I am diabetic and I am hungry.  Today is the day I started eating like the diabetic I am and it's hard.  I love food, I love sweets, I love all the things I am not supposed to.  So today, I am hungry.  I just turned 36 on Saturday.  I have stuggled with my weight since I was a teenage and all that fat has caught up with me.  I am 36 and I have diabetes.  I do not blame anyone but myself.  I have been borderline diabetic for years and never seriously did anything about it so now...I'm hungry. 

It all started with insulin resistance and then polycystic ovarian syndrome and now diabetes.  Sooooo, what is one to do?  I HAVE TO WAKE UP!!!!  I know exactly what I am supposed to do.  I can tell you everything that I need to change but words aren't gonna work this time.  As an english instructor I understand the power of words and persuasion but in my case, words mean nothing.  So today I am hungry. 

I have ventured into the world of online recipes for diabetics and have been overwhelmed with it all.  I know how many grams of carbs I am supposed to have at each meal and how many carbs are allowed for each snack and believe me, a big ass bowl of ice cream does not fit into that plan.  I need to stick to this just like I need to stick my fingers several times a day to check my blood sugar now. 

My husband and I want to try and have at least one baby and we have a lot working against us BUT I know in my heart that I need to do what is within my power to be healthy to not only conceive but carry a baby to term.  I am the one who has to come to terms with this disease that I have invited into my body.  I am the one who needs to reverse the diagnosis.  I am the one who needs to be hungry.